Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Change

People just change, don't they? and to be frank, I'm constantly changing too. It just depends on what environment you are exposed to. The more you are exposed to, the more you change.

and change itself is neutral. I just discovered almost all of my friends, changed. Some I find it ok. Some I do not.

Today, I chatted with a friend who is abroad and the conversation started with loh and lah.

Anonymous says:
loh and lah doesnt add any meaning to my sentence...
Anonymous :
no point
specialhuman says:
yes they do
specialhuman says:
they tell that u r malaysian
Anonymous says:
so...
Anonymous says:
like what meaning?
Anonymous says:
oh
Anonymous says:
haha
Anonymous says:
bunch of people who say words that are meaningless
specialhuman says:
this is very insulting
Anonymous says:
haha
Anonymous says:
sorry
Anonymous says:
oh well...
Anonymous says:
i dont know..
Anonymous says:
i have change way too much
Anonymous says:
i dont think anyone will like me anymore!!!
specialhuman says:
Give me back the Anonymous i know!
Anonymous says:
he is dead...
Anonymous says:
i killed him...
Anonymous says:
with my own hand
specialhuman says:
No wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Anonymous says:
i was suprise that I did it...
specialhuman says:
no u are not
Anonymous says:
i think I would never be the same...
specialhuman says:
u did it on purpose
Anonymous says:
to fit in?
Anonymous says:
perhaps....
specialhuman says:
u should never lose ur identity
Anonymous says:
I am still strugling....
specialhuman says:
it's the second worst thing to lose besides faith
Anonymous says:
to find my true self
Anonymous says:
my identity?
Anonymous says:
what defines me?
Anonymous says:
what i believe?
specialhuman says:
The way that you are brought up
Anonymous says:
I believe in changes...
Anonymous says:
the way that I was brought up....
Anonymous says:
might not be who I am...
Anonymous says:
I was told to do this and that....
Anonymous says:
do i really want to?
specialhuman says:
Y do u even care "do i really want to"
specialhuman says:
Maybe u don wanna be born as a Malaysian but u already were
Anonymous says:
malaysia is just a country
specialhuman says:
maybe u don wanna be born as the eldest son but u already were
Anonymous says:
a nation...
Anonymous says:
that doesnt define me!
specialhuman says:
it does!
specialhuman says:
it nurtured u
Anonymous says:
there are things that I cant change,,,,
Anonymous says:
since young...
Anonymous says:
i never liked malaysia....
specialhuman says:
me either
specialhuman says:
but it doesn't matter at all
Anonymous says:
i dont associate malayisa with me...
Anonymous says:
unless ppl ask me where I am from..
specialhuman says:
it's a place that u had so much memories with it...
specialhuman says:
at least for me..
Anonymous says:
jus memories....
specialhuman says:
and that's wat defined u
specialhuman says:
Memories
Anonymous says:
not malaysia
Anonymous says:
just my memories
Anonymous says:
in malaysia...
Anonymous says:
whats your identity?
specialhuman says:
I'm a Penangite
Anonymous says:
ha
Anonymous says:
i am thinking more of....
specialhuman says:
A JitSin-ian
specialhuman says:
a son of God
specialhuman says:
a son to my parents
specialhuman says:
a brother to my bro
Anonymous says:
someone who is trying to figure out what he is good at...
and trying really hard to prove to the world that he is worth something...
specialhuman says:
i give up proving
specialhuman says:
really
specialhuman says:
i give up
specialhuman says:
so tired of proving something
Anonymous says:
but isint that true?
Anonymous says:
that kind a defines your...at some point in your life...
specialhuman says:
yeah
specialhuman says:
only a kid needs to prove something
Anonymous says:
only a human
Anonymous says:
i have changed....
Anonymous says:
and i know it...
Anonymous says:
i dont like it...
Anonymous says:
but yet i accept it....
Anonymous says:
not completely...
Anonymous says:
because I believe....
Anonymous says:
I am always changing
Anonymous says:
that one day....
Anonymous says:
I will come out from my dark side
specialhuman says:
know wat
specialhuman says:
i believe in changing too
specialhuman says:
but there're core values
specialhuman says:
that should always remain
Anonymous says:
i hope so...
Anonymous says:
but thats not always the case!
Anonymous says:
changes will really put you to the test!
Anonymous says:
I hope I pass with flying colours
Anonymous says:
i know I will....
specialhuman says:
sometimes
specialhuman says:
we have to fight
specialhuman says:
to remain the same
Anonymous says:
....
Anonymous says:
nope...
Anonymous says:
i hate being the same...
Anonymous says:
i wanna be better
Anonymous says:
i need to be in bed....
specialhuman says:
but sometimes changing = worse
Anonymous says:
this conversation is taking too long..
specialhuman says:
ok..
Anonymous says:
worse....
specialhuman says:
not better
Anonymous says:
can make you better...
Anonymous says:
you know you dont wanna be worse...
Anonymous says:
then you will turn your direction,,,
Anonymous says:
and try to be better..
specialhuman says:
Tell u wat
specialhuman says:
U r not any better than the Anonymous i know.
specialhuman says:
really.
Anonymous says:
i didnt say I am..
Anonymous says:
i know I am not...
Anonymous says:
i am bitter
Anonymous says:
i am lazy...
specialhuman says:
go and rest now. the conversation woont make things better
Anonymous says:
i am stubborn
Anonymous says:
haha
Anonymous says:
the Anonymous i use to be is not any better either...
Anonymous says:
he might be kind and nice...
Anonymous says:
but maybe he is really not...
specialhuman says:
at least he was not lost like how u are
Anonymous says:
maybe he is not being honest to himself...
Anonymous says:
he is just doing what he is told to...
specialhuman says:
He was honest, at least to me
Anonymous says:
am I not?
specialhuman says:
He didn't care about himself as much as u do
Anonymous says:
because he didnt want to face himself...
Anonymous says:
ignoring the ugly side of him...
specialhuman says:
We all have an ugly side
specialhuman says:
very ugly
specialhuman says:
indeed
Anonymous says:
yup...
Anonymous says:
he discover his....
Anonymous says:
and got killed by his ugly side...
specialhuman says:
u don't get killed by ur ugly side
specialhuman says:
u r just overtaken by it
specialhuman says:
and anytime u can turn it back
Anonymous says:
true...
Anonymous says:
i need jesus...
specialhuman says:
then hold on to him
specialhuman says:
never let go
specialhuman says:
no matter how things change
Anonymous says:
yeah...
Anonymous says:
good night...
specialhuman says:
this is the core.
specialhuman says:
Good night

I keep his name anonymous, cos I have never asked for his permision to post our conversation here. The reason I posted the conversation here is that it gave me a big bang to my head. I just suddenly realised, how much a person can change, without even giving me a prior notice....... and i just realise that i don really pay attention to people lives until i m surprised by their changes. how pathetic.

Seriously, I've never realised he has changed so much until today...

Well......I don't despise change. I believe that change is unavoidable. and it's even one of the theme of my blog - metamorphosis .

But you dont forget your roots after you have changed.

At least you don't call them a bunch of people who say words that are meaningless....

loh and lah is exclamation. They mean something.

13 comments:

joe wee chuah said...

What defines you? I love this quote from the latest batman movie, "it's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you!"
It doesnt matter what happened to you, how you've changed, but the important thing is what you DO, how you REACT to things and situations that defines you. Where you're from, what language you speak, which family you're from, the colour of your skin, your height, your weight, these things dont really define who you are, they are only your identity, your status. Again, it's what a person does that defines him.
it doesnt matter how u change, for better or worse, but what you are doing, how u respond to things, how u handle situations, how do u make your decisions...all these things tell people who you are and what you are capable of, those are the things that define you.
Change? well...everyone changes, it's natural....change is good..eventhough sometimes the change is worse, and sometimes you don even realise it's worse. blinded. by pride, by ego, by stupidity, stubburness....
but there's a God up there that will guide you and lead you, IF you let him to. so hold on to Him and follow His will to become more like Him. now that's a better change :D and you don have to prove anything to Him, that's the best part! that's all for now! God Bless!!

Anonymous said...

Kaevin, i think you need to learn on how to understand other people's feeling and what they are going through. In other words, be more considerate and have more compassion.

You may win in your argument, however you might lose a friend. (Though i disagree with your identity definition, as well as the previous commenter's. Both definition, i think, will collapse. But, oh, just presume I'm wrong.)

Anyway, if you think that my advice is unnecessary, its okay. Good luck.

joe wee chuah said...

just to respond to your comment, anonymous, whatever problems you have between u and kaevin, that's for u guys to deal with, i don mean barge in and get involved. was just reading the convo and thought i might comment on it. it's alright if u don agree with what i said about defining one self, it's just prooves that we all have different ways of seeing and interpreting things. but i would like to hear how you define oneself and what's your definition of identity :)
anyway, whatever you're goin through, just hang in there, and i guess u're a christian? at least we have someone that we can fully trust up there...you just need to believe it! May God bless you and lead you out of the pit you're in :D

specialhuman said...

anonymous:

who are u?

Anonymous said...

I agree with anonymous said. From my past experience knowing Kaevin being my friend. My 1st glance, Kaevin quiet friendly, and treats equally among friends. Within a few years or months(i guessed), you changed and I do not really like the way you treat me. Dear Kaevin, you really need to learn to understand other people's feeling. I hope you find out by your own.

Well, I may assume myself as an anonymous. It's worthless effort by searching someone who are anonymous.
Wish you good luck in your life.
My dear friend..

Anonymous said...

i read through ur comment..joe wee chuah had da very long comment..he was so supportive on u..da other guy seems like have a little misunderstanding on u..i duno..haha..
btw,i am out of this..i just wana say tat..ur conversation wit da guy in da blog os kinda gay and corny..wahhaa..esepecially when u said tat."i wan da old - back"..wahaha..
everyone changes to suit da enviroment..but there would be something tat wouldnt change at all in his life..u would find out 1 day and it is his identity..
ur blog seems causes alot of uproar espcially on ur thoughts tat being pen here..
i neo u would wana befriending and nice to everyone but da truth is..u will nvr achieve tat..trust me..haha..
i will leave myself as anonymous as well..haha...
gd luck wit ur work

specialhuman said...

so i'll have to assume anonymous 11:17pm, anonymous 12:40am and anonymous 4:29am are different anonymouses....

Well, one thing, I'm not a perfect person and I really need comments like this for me to improve. Thanks for your comments...

It's hard, but i'll learn, humbly, how to understand others' feeling more. Talking about being understanding, I guess I'll have to go tru a long process. It's a tough thing to learn.

Well, 4:29am, wat gay n corny...do u mean gay n horny? lol. I'm just saying, Give me back the - I knew. I tot it's a very common thing to joke....hahah...anyway, I'll be more careful so that i don sound 'gay n corny'....hahaha

Again, thank u for all of ur comments. I wouldn't have known there're so many people reading my blog apart from those hard core fans. haha. and when u leave a comment, it shows that u care. Thanx. :) I'm hoping for more comments.

Anonymous said...

maybe, "specialhuman" is too special until some of his friends begin to 'no-syok' with him...
maybe, he had done something wrongly that caused some of his friends to leave such a comment up there ...
maybe, he was/is too good n caused 'envy'?
maybe, he was born to be judged ... hahaha ...
and ... i really spent time to think of the comments or better known as 'judgment' that pened by lots of anonymous . Is specialhuman a true friend to u all ? Is 'judgment on fried' a right way to prepare a friendship ? frankly, i simply don't like the way you all anonymous to express ur boh-syok-ness ... i also donno what to say ...i juz feel like wanna protect specialhuman from being insulted ...swt ...
u all can abandon my fei remark but the last sentence u all should pay more attention ...

pardon kaevin, if there was/is anything tat he caused u all no syok ...pardon yourself, if there was/is anything tat you judged insincerely due to some 'reason' ? pardon me... if I said something that caused you to wake-up from your 'no-syok-dream'...and pardon everyone for reviving some old hatred ...
open ur heart to accept any no-syok n digest into syok ... that's the simplest way of a tough friendship... always to reach compromise...
n the anonymous seem like still young to get this generous philosophy....hahahahahahahahahahaha...may d God bless me this xiao didi ... hahaha

joe wee chuah said...

LOL...i was supporting neither of them..my comments was basically just answering the question asked by the other guy in the convo, which was also the main theme of the whole posted convo...

anyway..i agree with what the last anonymous said..sometimes it's just about compromising...accept each other, u can never make everyone happy. that's life isn't it??! hah...

ky said...

I got something to share, tho it's not directly related to the discussion above.

"Do you believe God is real? Jesus is the son of God? that he resurrected 3 days after the crucifixion?"

"Yes i do."

"So what? Satan believes all that too, with greater faith than you."

It's what you do based on your belief that defines which side you're in.

specialhuman said...

thank u all for ur sincere comments.

don blame me if i ever become very not understanding.

coz now, i don even understand myself

stupid said...

It’s interesting if you study about mankind. Lot of things u can discover by analyzing human behavior. For instance, human is like water, fit in any kind of bottle. For a period, it starts to cool down, turn into ice with bottle’s shape. If you want to move the ice to other container with different shape, you need to warm it up until it’s melt, again the water will fit the container perfectly. However, too much heat provided during the melting process will vaporize the water, escaping into air. In other words, run from reality. Think of it, just enjoy your life, that’s the most important. No point for arguing because Change is a phenomenon, you can explain a phenomenon but you can’t stop it from happening.

specialhuman said...

Stupid:

this is so scientific!!! I just love it! hahaha...thanx~

I'm not stopping this phenomenon... I'm just amazed and puzzled by it. :D