Saturday, September 09, 2006

Soul-wrecked

We don't really have much choices, arent we?

From the moment that we were born. We were not given right to choose where to be born, who to be our parents, what are their monthly salary......and also the colour of our skin, our gender, how do we appear......

and then we have no choice but we have to grow up, we have to learn, we have to perceive things around us, we have to respond to stimulation, we have to communicate......and yes, some of us do not. and we call them retarded.

we are told what's right and what's wrong. each of us holds on to different beliefs. some turn out to be hypocrites, some turn out to be liars, some turn out to be killers, some turn out to be rapists. and some turn out to be hypocrites that called people hypocrites, liars, killers and rapist, which are the worst i think.

so the world is a big container of diversity. and people yell for union. it never comes true though.

wat if i care? and wat if i don care? the rules and regulation set by man. the law of nature. the basic instinct of human to love, to hate, to care, to seize, to hold, to yell, to feel, to smell, to touch, to kiss, to fuck, to cry, to laugh, to hug......we r told to have more, we r told to indulge, we r told to enjoy. we r freaking told to do watever we think that we wanted to do we r driven by our emotions, our lust, our frens, our family, our rationality, our intuition, our motivation, our pride, our stupidity, our gluttony, our greed, our curiosity, our conciousness and subconciousness......we r driven by so many things.

n we tot that our lives have a purpose. yeah, a purpose. we tot that we should indulge n satisfy every single need and want. we tot that we should climb up to the highest rank of the hierarchy of the society. we tot that being rich being famous being powerful being smart being knowledgable is the ultimate purpose. we tot that having someone to love having ourselves to be loved having someone that understands us having someone that will never leave us is the ultimate purpose of our lives. we tot that being kind being faithful being honest being honorable being hardworking being generous being helpful being humble is living a purposeful n meaningful life. we tot that believe in a God that love us n care bout us will give us a purpose.

i believe in something. somehow it works for me.

but sometimes i stumble, sometimes i fall. i started to think. do i still believe wat i m believing?

i guess yes. it's the only thing for me to hold on to. if i let go. i m done.

sometimes believing is not pleasurable. a lot of us choose to disbelieve. we tot that we do not believe anything but the fact is that we believe in 'not-to-believe-any-thing'

sometimes it's easier to believe in lust, to believe in greed, to believe in fame, to believe in wealth, to believe in marijuana, to believe in alcohol.

it's harder to believe in instinct, to believe in innocent, to believe in wat we believe when we were still infant.

the more we see, the more we disbelieve in the beauty of life.

what if i stumble, what if i fall?

m i given a choice to stand up?

we say there's a higher Power, there's an Almighty, there's an absolute infinite being. some of us believe, some of us don give a fuck.

In the end of the day, none of us know who's right n who's wrong. some love to challenge the tradition. they tot that they have sufficient knowledge and education to. some juz love to step on others to climb to the top. some of us love to pick out grammar mistakes and claim that it's false because we make a mistake on the grammar.

it's a 6++ billion population world. even if 3000 millions say that it's right. there're remaining (6000000000 - 300000000) to deny.

some people in some country tot that they r the elites of the world. the bottom line is set by them.

what if i stumble, what if i fall.

will You forgive or forsake me?

Y do people smile when they r happy, and shed their tears when they r sad?

I m trying to use my stupidity to explain my own stupidity and the world's, which will not work.

It's a soul-wrecked.

Can anyone give me a choice to forget about having a choice?


3 comments:

Anson said...

good sharing..i love it... :)

ketvin said...

bro you can be a great thinker ~ :D

specialhuman said...

lol

thanx man~