Thursday, October 20, 2005

Trash Talk

it's 1:23 am.....thursday blue. donno y but since i was a kid i hate thursday and twilight. both of them juz bring me a kind of feeling that everything's hopeless and it's gonna crush and end.....some kind of depression, yeah, depression......a fren of mine once said a psychiatrist told his fren who got melancholia that one of the reason that causes depression is the lack of some sort of hormones...i m totally lost......is every feeling the result of the biochemical reactions of ur hormones in ur brain?

sometimes i think that wat i think doesn't really matter. this is a world with a population of 6 billion. i m only one of it. and the planet earth is only one tiny dot in the endless infinite limitless boundless uncountable immeasurable universe. sometimes i doubt that i really got some value. the issue of worthlessness sometimes break me down. okok, u might think that i m childish to say that. yes, the world is full of unlucky people and they don even have time to think of that. they cant even fulfill their basic needs. come to think of the victims of tsunami and earthquake and katrina...those who were born in those thirdworld country...they r in agony of poverty and starvation.....they don even know their own name and their own age. and u r telling me u have a sense of worthlessness when u r comfortablely typing ur post in front of ur laptop with a stomach full of pork chop and dessert?

i donno.....the fact that a lot people r suffering when i m enjoying or when i m complaining about my dissatisfaction has juz sickened me to the bone~! i know i shouldn't be complaining much.....yet......i m.

it's a moody night and i totally have no idea wat i m trying to say...i know i have something that bothers me but i cant express it...in words....especially in english.....perhaps it'll be a lil better if i try in mandarin....nah....i guess it's the same...

sometimes it's so ironic. i complain to God, y created me n gave me freedom to do things i wan. i rather i don have to think and make decision. yet i m using the freedom given to ask this. it's so pathetic. HE is the almighty infinite eternal everlasting GOD while i m a nobody. Yet i have the right to QUESTION HIM y he created me....or he created the world, mankind, the planet earth...and y everything is juz not in order........but i know i'll never get the answer. it's juz way too complicated for me to understand. just like a cockcroach puts on a pair of glasses and tries to ask Albert Einstein to explain the principle of relativity......come on.....cockcroach should go back to rubbish bin, continue with the leftovers...so m i, continue to live in this world.....

i m nobody....so please do not ever bother with my trash talk.

6 comments:

ichigo said...

ok...trash talk ya...
then now i gv u a trash comment lar..lolz..=P
erm..now i baru noe u dun like thursday...bla bla bla..dunno wan to say wat d..very blur n tired now but couldnt sleep...aikz...
i hope diz bull**** trash enough 4 u...lolz...=P..

megdalyn said...

"i know i have something that bothers me but i cant express it..."

u can always find me maa.. im very free now.. cal me middle of the nite oso i will answer one... maybe u r feeling lonely.. go n get a gf!! ~be happy!!~

Princess Chuorb said...

hey sayang..
apa ni "trash talk" semua la? if anything troubling u, i'm alwiz here wat..smile la :) tk care!

jasminehuimin said...

hey ya...oh..that's the pork chop that cost rm4 ? haha..

hmm..u r just so precious. not only to God, to so many other ppl right?
God writes ur name on the palm of his hand and carve there nicely de. dun feel unworthy. Jesus didn't die in vain. He die to redeem us and made us worthy :)

2 thessalonians 2:13

But we ought alwayz to thank God for you, brothers loved by the Lord, because from the beginning God chose you to be saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth.

2:16
May our Lord JEsus Christ himself and God our Father , who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.


okay..dun wan be ahma de.. hehe..take care. ~be contented~

specialhuman said...

ichigo: thanx for ur trash concern. hahah~

megdalyn: something that bothers me is y cant i express something that bothers me...haha

princess chuorb: ampun puteri..patik hanya cakep sampah je...haha

jasmine: ya. the rm4 pork chop. hehe. thanx for ur concern n efforts of quoting the scriptures. how kind of u~

bluejazz said...

kaevin...long time no see...
thanx for leaving me a comment on my blog at friendster...but i decided to post my blogs here...anyway...commenting on your blog about trash talk...juz take a look at my first blog regarding this...http://khaisheng.blogspot.com/

keep in touch...